Some people think that watching television is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Write an essay justifying your choice.

Some

people

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believe that watching

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is a waste of time,

while

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others have the point of view that

this

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can be a form of leisure and entertainment. I really disagree that watching

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is a

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

of time because, to my mind, watching

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can be a valuable activity which provides relaxation, enjoyment, and even education. First of all, one of the main benefits of watching

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is that it is a great

form

Check wording

way

show examples

to relax and de-stress after a long day. Watching a favourite

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show or movie can help

people

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to unwind and forget about their troubles

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

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can be especially beneficial for

people

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who have stressful jobs or who live in busy cities as well.

Furthermore

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, watching

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can be a means to connect with others who share our interests.

For example

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people

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who enjoy watching sports may watch games

together with

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friends or family

Punctuation problem

. In

show examples

Linking Words

addition

Punctuation problem

addition,

show examples

this

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can be a great step to

socialize

Change the spelling

socialise

show examples

and build relationships.

Moreover

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, to be relaxing and enjoyable, watching

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can

also

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be educational because there are many educational

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shows and documentaries that can teach

people

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about different topics.

This

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can be a great way to learn about current events, history, science, and more. Watching

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can

also

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be a way to learn about different cultures and perspectives.

For example

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, watching a foreign

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show can give us a glimpse into another culture

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besides

Punctuation problem

, besides

show examples

can help us to understand different ways of life and become more tolerant of others. It can

also

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help us to develop our critical thinking skills.

For example

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, watching a news program can help us

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apply

show examples

analyze

Change the spelling

analyse

show examples

information to form our own opinions and help us

Verb problem

apply

show examples

become more informed citizens. In conclusion, from my perspective, watching

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is not a waste of time. It can be a valuable activity that can provide relaxation, enjoyment, and even education.

However

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, it is important to watch

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in moderation and to choose programs that are appropriate.

aracellyfontes

Oct 8, 2023

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task response

Your view is clear. Stay on one side and give ideas for that view. add more detail and a small example for each idea.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with short, easy words. Use topic sentences for each paragraph and simple links like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so'.

language

Check grammar and use simple form. Fix errors like 'lose of time' to 'loss of time' and make phrases simpler.

content

The writer shows a clear view that TV is not a waste of time.

structure

Ideas are easy to follow and the essay has a simple plan (intro, body, end).

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

waste of time
educational
informative
entertaining
mindless
addictive
enriching
relaxing
source of news
passive viewing
critical thinking

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"In the future, no one will buy printed newspapers or books, because everything they want can be read online without paying for it."