Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#men #women #care #appearance

It is a common belief that nowadays both sexes are

attentive

Correct quantifier usage

more attentive

show examples

to outward form than in the past. I completely agree with

this

given statement and

this

essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with supporting points.

Firstly

, money is the most thing that

necessary

Add a missing verb

is necessary

show examples

to our life.

For instance

, in the past, there were lots of wars because of poverty. At that same time, salaries

mostly

Add a missing verb

were mostly

show examples

spent on food but not enough money to buy.

Moreover

, money was insufficient

diet

Change preposition

for diet

show examples

needs so they didn't think

Change preposition

about

show examples

their appearance not only economic conditions but

also

all of their daytime almost entirely used on working. Because of being poor, they always

reliable

Replace the word

rely

show examples

on themselves that they will obtain

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

show examples

life with standard living.

Secondly

, in

this

day and age moneymaking has grown up so that our life becomes easier for us to survive.

For example

, these days, people feel more comfortable for the reason that exporting products to

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

countries

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

income rise and in the

future

Add a comma

future,

show examples

it will make that become a developed country.

Furthermore

, people can easily put on

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

some clothes

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

high payment without

think

Change the verb form

thinking

show examples

just only owing to the fact that they love

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Technology

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

and everyone

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to catch up on trend so they will be anxious when they do not have

good

Correct article usage

the good

show examples

things as the person

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

same age. In conclusion, appearance is important but it depends on time and your wages and it

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

when you are suitable to be old-fashioned.

Sun Oct 08 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social meadia for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? Write at least 250 words.

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?