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Band 6.5

The media has become too influential in people’s lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #people’s #lives #development
It is believed by the
people
 that
media
 has become an influence to the
people
 in
negative
Change the article
a negative
show examples
 way in their lives. Despite the community's
struggling
Replace the word
struggle
show examples
 with a sophisticated life pattern, there has been a growing tendency among them to use
media
 as a crucial strategy for shaping life. I strongly agree with the given statement as it has a negative impact on society.
This
 essay will deeply delve into the reasons for my personal
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
. On the one hand,
media
 has been the main source of transferring information which is relevant and irrelevant. It has the power to change one's thinking pattern in a keen way.
For instance
, researchers have found that now
people
 tend to eat unhealthy foods
such
 as soft drinks, short eats and other instant edibles as
media
 promote them regularly in commercials.
Moreover
,
according to
 the research
as a result
 of the changed food habits, the number of cancers and other non-communicable diseases is
also
 growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
 anyone can easily identify the bad effects of the
media
 on society.
On the other hand
,
people
 have become addicted to spending their valuable time in front of a screen. As an example, most of the Sri Lankan women have been practising to spend around 7.00pm to 10.00pm watching foreign teledramas. Because of that reason, they lost valuable time which could have been spent with their family. The most tragic situation is children won't be able to get love and care from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 as they are abandoned
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 television than children.
To sum up
, there are more disadvantages of
media
 usage to the society. There is no doubt, that it badly influences one's life and the matter is gradually increasing day by day.
Hence
 it is true,that
Istrongly
Correct your spelling
I strongly
 agree with the given statement.
Submitted by laksrijayashan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influential
  • negative development
  • opinions
  • perceptions
  • unrealistic standards
  • ideals
  • manipulate
  • distort
  • information
  • addiction
  • dependency
  • privacy
  • valuable
  • entertainment
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