Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought that the privacy of celebrities should not be exposed to the public. I strongly agree with
this
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statement because
such
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material can be harmful to the figure and
also
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private lives are
one
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of the human rights and exposing it to the public can be breaking the law. Exposing
information
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on a famous person's life to the public can lead to danger, not just to the person but
also
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their
Change preposition
to their
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relatives.
This
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is because revealing
such
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knowledge can lead to unwanted comments or allegations, which can lead to great distress. In Indonesia
for example
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, in 2017 there was a celebrity called Ariel who just got depressed and attempted to commit suicide because he could not hold the amount of hate comments coming to his family's private social media.
Furthermore
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, exposing private
information
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could lead to breaking the law since it is
one
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of human rights.
This
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is because privacy is
one
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of the fundamental policies in our society and obtaining
one
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of those should require consent.
Thus
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, obtaining
this
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type of
information
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by force could lead to breaching and publicizing unwanted details. In Indonesia
for instance
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, in 2018 Rizky
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
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of the big personalities in Indonesia got exposed to where he usually does his laundry and it led to people coming to that same place and giving discomfort feeling for him. In conclusion, I strongly support that celebrity privacy should not be the subject of interest to media because revealing
such
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information
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could destroy a celebrity's life, and the process of gathering the details can lead to crime
Submitted by rizkyrizalzal on

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Task Achievement
Provide a more detailed and specific introduction that clearly states your position on the topic
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-developed and follow a clear structure
Lexical Resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and expressions
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Watch out for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Media scrutiny
  • Public persona
  • Personal autonomy
  • Sensationalism
  • Paparazzi
  • Tabloid journalism
  • Right to privacy
  • Mental well-being
  • Public interest
  • Ethical journalism
  • Celebrity culture
  • Gossip columns
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