Some people believed that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness , however , others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Money
is an integral transport to achieving success
an
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
our
life
, with many different aspects of
money
for obtaining
happiness
or not.
People
have different arguments about how it plays a role of
money
in our lives.
This
essay discusses both sides of
this
contentious argument before giving my own perspective. On the one hand, many
people
argue that
money
plays a more significant in the pursuit of success.
To begin
with, good finance allows
people
to ensure their safe quality of
life
. To explain, when they have good finances, some
people
do not have to face any basic needs that it able stressful
such
as housing, food, and study. Not only that, one other benefit of
money
is that
people
can enjoy a multitude of free choices. In detail, those who don’t have to worry about basic needs will be comfortable pursuing what they have dreamed of.
Also
, they may be thinking of bigger goals that are significant values for the community
such
as volunteer activities, singers, a
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
, or even a politician.In
this
case,
money
invaluably improves individuals ’s spiritual quality of
life
which is of great importance in achieving
happiness
.
On the other hand
, others argue that
money
is not the only answer to a fulfilling
life
.
Additionally
, one factor related to the lack of
happiness
is that
money
may not bring true relationships. To explain, for many individuals who have a high income,
money
support their diverse aspect of
life
,
nevertheless
, it does not really helps to build good relationship
friends
Change preposition
with friends
show examples
since it can surround them with an illusion that lead to they will be loneliness.
In addition
, apart from wealth, another crucial factor that could be positive for many
people
may include well-being, good relationships family, and a happy marriage. In detail, there are many
people
who spend time
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
sports, they really value their health more than
money
as well.
Also
, some
people
do not spend time earning
money
, they only focus on taking care of their families or their partners.
As a result
, sometimes, a fulfilling
life
may have nothing to do with
money
. In conclusion, considering the merits associated with the given views, I am more convinced that
money
is the most significant element for achieving
happiness
. My belief is based on the point that
money
has been understood as a rightful value and is a transport to pursue success.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the two opposing views and your opinion.
lexical resource
Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition.
grammatical range accuracy
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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