Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world

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It is undeniable that

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

modern era are having sedentary lifestyles even though there are a lot of gyms available. In my point of view,

this

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issue

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will lead to a decreasing

fitness

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level and stress. The main problem caused by the

issue

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is the low

fitness

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level.

This

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is because

people

Use synonyms

lack significant physical movement in their daily life and it can affect their

overall

Linking Words

health and performance.

For instance

Linking Words

, if they spend too much time

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

lying

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bed for more than eight hours a day without doing any exercise, they will probably experience obesity and high blood pressure.

Therefore

Linking Words

, dealing with the

issue

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surrounding the level of

fitness

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is best solved by subsidizing sports

center

Fix the agreement mistake

centers

show examples

or gyms to make sports cheaper. It means that the government should provide a large number of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities to the public so that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society can easily use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

and even better they can access

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

freely.

This

Linking Words

method will ensure that

people

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will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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exercise regularly to improve their

fitness

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. Another

issue

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to consider is that

people

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will get frustrated easily.

In other words

Linking Words

, since they less interact with others and only

having

Wrong verb form

have

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time

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show examples

their own, it will be difficult for them to share their problems and only keep

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

for themselves.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon will disturb their mental health and even worse it leads to suicide.

Thus

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, to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem, the government should provide more entertainment facilities

such

Linking Words

as theme

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

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and exhibitions or displays. By doing

this

Linking Words

people

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will have a chance or an option to explore more, interact and

built

Wrong verb form

build

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relation

Replace the word

relationship

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with others rather than only sleep or play

their

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on their

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

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. All in all, I believe that having a sedentary lifestyle will ruin

people

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’s health, physically and mentally.

Therefore

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, the government should provide both sports and entertainment facilities for the public.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Oct 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states the problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons why a sedentary lifestyle leads to a decreasing fitness level and stress.

coherence cohesion

Support the idea of subsidizing sports centers or gyms with more specific details or evidence.

task achievement

Provide more explanation or examples for how a sedentary lifestyle can lead to frustration and mental health issues.

grammatical range accuracy

Avoid making generalizations without providing evidence, such as claiming that a sedentary lifestyle leads to suicide.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger and more specific conclusion that summarizes the main points and solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
health problems
weight gain
obesity
energy levels
chronic illnesses
mental health
productivity
focus
social isolation
exercise
physical fitness
active lifestyle
health benefits
physical health
mental well-being
leisure activities
regular physical activity
physical exercise
cardiovascular health
strength training
flexibility
endurance

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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?