Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that these days, there are modern ways to
work
.
While
it is a commonly held belief that it would be better if the employees worked from their homes
instead
of travelling every day to their workplace, there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there are many benefits of working from
home
.
To begin
with, working from
home
can save you money.
In other words
, you do not have to worry about making a budget for gas or buying new clothes for your job.
In addition
, it will save you time as well; you can do anything before you do your
work
,
such
as having breakfast or taking a shower.
For instance
, yesterday, I went to
work
, and it took me one hour; at
this
time, I could
exercise
Rephrase
not exercise
show examples
or
anything
Add a missing verb
do anything
show examples
else. Another point to consider is that some jobs do not require one to be there because there is no physical
work
. It is
also
possible to say that when your job is just on the laptop or computer, like finance jobs, you do not have to be in a specific place.
Moreover
, working from
home
can be a significant achievement for the company.
For example
,
according to
research that I read on a website, “ In COVID-19,
work
from
home
caused an increase of achievement by 47% in 130 companies in the United States. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that working at
home
can bring various positives to people and organizations.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Task Response
While your essay effectively communicates your opinion, try to provide a more nuanced approach by exploring both sides of the argument in greater depth before reaching a conclusion. This will add complexity and depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Continue to use clear topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through your argument, as you've done well in this essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of your text.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid general statements without evidence. When you mention research or statistics, provide specific details to strengthen your argument.
Introduction and Conclusion
Effectively introduced and concluded the essay, clearly stating your viewpoint.
Main Points and Examples
Presented strong primary arguments with relevant examples, particularly mentioning the impact of working from home on saving time and money, and on job performance.
Logical Structure
Maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, making your arguments easy to follow.

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