It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many
people
to achieve some goals that can be very important in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
must
do of
Verb problem
make
show examples
choices and
this
can create
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
problems. In
this
essay, I will explain why it is crucial to take
risks
to have success in their professional lives and personal
life
and I will give my points of view. One of the first reasons to take
risks
in their
life
is to research a purpose,
for example
, I want to be an engineer or a lawyer but to obtain
this
, it needs to do some sacrifice.
However
, it is not easy to take
risks
because they will find a lot difficult but
according to
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
the best solution is to try and never give up.
For instance
, if we think of
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have had success as Elon Musk or Steve Jobs,
this
should help us think that we are capable of doing everything.
On the other hand
, I believe that almost all
people
that are
Verb problem
who
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
important in their professional
life
had do
Wrong verb form
have to make
show examples
many sacrifices but
this
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
big
Change preposition
to big
show examples
satisfaction.
Furthermore
,
this
can lead
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
advantages as money or
permit
Correct subject-verb agreement
permits
show examples
to know other important
people
and in my opinion, it is beautiful to have all things. Unfortunately, not all
people
want to improve
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
show examples
lives because they think that are wasting time and energy but they don’t know the advantages
who
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can have.
To sum up
, I think
that is
very important to take
risks
because only in
this
way can we achieve great things and I hope that one day our country can change the beliefs I swear to these.
Submitted by afiorentino404346 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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