Teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree?
Teenagers
should involve to
unpaid Change preposition
in
community
work in their free time
. This
brings benefit
both for them and the Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
community
. I totally agree with that opinion. This
activities protect them from bad habits and decrease Correct determiner usage
These
crime
rate.
Add an article
the crime
Community
works
has several different advantages Fix the agreement mistake
work
to
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
teenagers
. Firstly
, they learn to manage their free time
which important skill for build
Wrong verb form
building
Correct article usage
a succesfull
succesfull
career and Correct your spelling
successful
maintain
their daily life. Wrong verb form
maintaining
Secondly
, Before become an
addictive Change the article
apply
in
some Change preposition
to
harmfull
activities, Correct your spelling
harmful
such
as watching porn and playing online games, people
need to spend to
much Correct your spelling
too
time
on these actions. If teenagers
spend their time
in community
work, they do not have time
for another things
to do that can Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
Add a missing verb
be harmfull
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
harmfully
for
them.
It Change preposition
to
also
helps to build strong
Add an article
a strong
community
. When people
help to
the Change preposition
apply
society
without money and create free
workforce, Add an article
a free
this
means the society
can spend this
money to
different Change preposition
on
reseources
rather than hire Correct your spelling
resources
people
for basic works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Furthermore
, with this
Correct determiner usage
these
savings
they can help the elderly or the poor Add a comma
savings,
people
. Also
, young people
can be dangerous for
the local Change preposition
to
community
because of their crime
potential. Until the twenties, people
can
easily manipulated because they are lack of with critical thinking ability and Verb problem
were
gangster
Fix the agreement mistake
gangsters
knows
Wrong verb form
knew
this
fact. This
lead to use
Correct article usage
the use
teenagers
in Change preposition
of teenagers
basics
Fix the agreement mistake
basic crimes
crime
that Add a missing verb
are harmfull
harmfull
to locals but when they have Correct your spelling
harmful
works
to do, they do not have Fix the agreement mistake
work
time
to commit crime
because their daily life goes through
from Rephrase
apply
schools
to Fix the agreement mistake
school
works
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
work
people
should spend their free time
in
Change preposition
at
their
early Change the word
an
ages
with Fix the agreement mistake
age
works
that Fix the agreement mistake
work
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
society
. This
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
responsible
Change preposition
of responsible
teenagers
and they will build stronger
and Add an article
a stronger
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
society
.Submitted by airbender on
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- such as
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- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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