65.Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are two different
point
of view Change to a plural noun
points
of
how to Change preposition
on
success
in Replace the word
succeed
life
. First,
that the
Correct article usage
apply
success
in life
comes from ones
determination and Change to a genitive case
one's
hardwork
, Correct your spelling
hard work
while
the other view think
that there Change the verb form
thinks
are
much more variable that can Change the verb form
is
Change the verb form
depend
depends
Add the preposition
depends on
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
success
, such
as appearance
and money.
Undoubtedly, hardwork
will not betray the result, Correct your spelling
hard work
says
some Change the verb form
say
people
. Furthermore
, when someone
is having
a strong determination, it will be difficult Wrong verb form
has
to
anyone to stop him from reaching his goals. By working hard and Change preposition
for
have
a strong Wrong verb form
having
determanation
, ones will likely find their Correct your spelling
determination
cuccess
in Correct your spelling
success
life
in a short of time.
Nevertheless
, there are also
another
factors that can affect Correct quantifier usage
other
someone
's success
in life
, and usually
Add a comma
usually,
someone
who have
Change the verb form
has
this
factors Correct determiner usage
these
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
someone
whom having a privilege such
as rich
or Correct article usage
a rich
well known
family. Add a hyphen
well-known
Someone
with such
privileges will indeed receive more money and relation that will help their stair way
to Correct your spelling
stairway
cuccess
than others that are not. Nowadays, many Correct your spelling
success
people
treat someone
accordind
to their Correct your spelling
according
appearance
, especially visual people
, and having a good appearance
also
one of the Add a missing verb
is also
privilege
that can Change to a plural noun
privileges
someone
have.
In conclusion, hard work and determination obviously have impact
Add an article
an impact
the impact
to
Change preposition
on
someone
's cuccess
in Correct your spelling
success
life
, but for other people
that are born with prifileges
, Correct your spelling
privileges
such
as money and appearance
, there
will be Correct pronoun usage
it
more
easier for them to find Change the word
apply
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
success
in life
.Submitted by ditajulaikaputri on
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task achievement
Clearly state your opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical manner.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Make sure to use correct grammar and sentence structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.