IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is considered by some
people
Use synonyms
that is
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 crucial to spend a large number of the country's outcomes on building new railway paths for express
trains
Use synonyms
 between nations,
while
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 others argue that money should be spent on developing public transportation
instead
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. In my opinion, I think that both perspectives are significant for the country's development, to provide convenience and a more organised transport system. On the
one
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 hand, spending a lot of money on modern
trains
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 can offer an easier life, especially for workers who live far away from their workplace.
Moreover
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,
one
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 of the most common issues that most of the employees face is transportation in the morning hours,
due to
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 the fact that the roads become crowded at
this
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 time.
Therefore
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, having a convenient and faster way like fast
trains
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 can tackle
this
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 problem by taking a lot of
people
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 to their work at
one
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 time.
For example
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, Japan is
one
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 of these countries that modernized their
trains
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, and
this
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 addressed the crowded traffic in the cities.
On the other hand
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, improving public transport will have an effective impact on cities' traffic.
In addition
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, the majority of
people
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 are using cars and buses more than
trains
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.
As a result
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, the effect of these improvements will benefit a large number of
people
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.
For instance
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, studies have shown that about 70% of individuals are using traditional vehicles, so they need to be the top priority to be improved. In conclusion,
although
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 rapid
trains
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 offer several advantages for citizens like getting to their work faster, the country's transport infrastructure is important to benefit the possible number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use cars and buses.

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'for example'.
task response
Provide more specific examples or data to support your points about public transport improvement.
task response
You clearly outline both sides of the argument, showing understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your points are relevant and address different aspects of transport issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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