Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A lot of people believe that their
concentration
decreases a lot because of the
social networking. I totally agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
statement, social media
destroy
our Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
attention
and distracting
us from our family and work.
In the modern world, human Wrong verb form
distracts
attention
are
less than a Change the verb form
is
gold fish
. People used to have stronger Correct your spelling
goldfish
concentration
old days, the
moment Correct word choice
but the
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
invented
people Add a missing verb
was invented
become
more and more distracted. Wrong verb form
became
For instance
, my sister when she was at
her 20s Change preposition
in
she
was successful at work her Correct pronoun usage
apply
concentration
was 100% great. However
, Change preposition
in
at
her 30s first social Change preposition
in
media
platform
created
, Add a missing verb
was created
Correct word choice
and her
her
productivity at work decreased. She Correct word choice
and her
assume
that she become addicted to social Wrong verb form
assumed
media
, she
couldn’t handle a few minutes without checking the Correct word choice
and she
platform
.
Secondly
, social networking are
really addictive it can take our brain to another world without realizing that we are distracted from the real life around us. Change the verb form
is
For example
, I used to focus in
my studies, but when Change preposition
on
the
I Correct article usage
apply
start
using Wrong verb form
started
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
platform
my Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
concentration
decreases
a lot. I usually grab the phone to check one message but when I see a notification from any social Wrong verb form
decreased
media
platform
like SnapChat
or Instagram or Twitter, I start scrolling Correct your spelling
Snapchat
in
the pages and I can not stop for hours. Change preposition
through
This
made my focus drop down in my studies and my grades goes
down.
Wrong verb form
went
To conclude
, it is really scary how human attention
drop
down Change the verb form
drops
insanelly
in Correct your spelling
insanely
the
few years. In my opinion, social networking should be managed or our Correct article usage
a
attention
will decreases
more.Change the verb form
decrease
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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clearer and more cohesive structure for your essay. The ideas are not organized in a logical manner.
task achievement
Ensure that your response is well-developed and directly addresses the question prompt. Your ideas should be more specific and comprehensive in order to fully address the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite