Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A lot of people believe that their
concentration
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decreases a lot because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networking. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, social
media
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destroy
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destroys
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our
attention
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and
distracting
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distracts
show examples
us from our family and work. In the modern world, human
attention
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are
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is
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less than a
gold fish
Correct your spelling
goldfish
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. People used to have stronger
concentration
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old days,
the
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but the
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moment
the
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apply
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social
media
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invented
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was invented
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people
become
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became
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more and more distracted.
For instance
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, my sister when she was
at
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in
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her 20s
she
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apply
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was successful at work her
concentration
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was 100% great.
However
Linking Words
,
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in
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at
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in
show examples
her 30s first social
media
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platform
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created
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was created
show examples
,
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and her
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her
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and her
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productivity at work decreased. She
assume
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assumed
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that she become addicted to social
media
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,
she
Correct word choice
and she
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couldn’t handle a few minutes without checking the
platform
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.
Secondly
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, social networking
are
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is
show examples
really addictive it can take our brain to another world without realizing that we are distracted from the real life around us.
For example
Linking Words
, I used to focus
in
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on
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my studies, but when
the
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apply
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I
start
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started
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using
the
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apply
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social
media
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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my
concentration
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decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
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a lot. I usually grab the phone to check one message but when I see a notification from any social
media
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platform
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like
SnapChat
Correct your spelling
Snapchat
or Instagram or Twitter, I start scrolling
in
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through
show examples
the pages and I can not stop for hours.
This
Linking Words
made my focus drop down in my studies and my grades
goes
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went
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down.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is really scary how human
attention
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drop
Change the verb form
drops
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down
insanelly
Correct your spelling
insanely
in
the
Correct article usage
a
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few years. In my opinion, social networking should be managed or our
attention
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will
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
more.
Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clearer and more cohesive structure for your essay. The ideas are not organized in a logical manner.
task achievement
Ensure that your response is well-developed and directly addresses the question prompt. Your ideas should be more specific and comprehensive in order to fully address the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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