Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Marriage
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is a pivotal milestone in any individual's
life
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which can make or
a
Correct article usage
apply
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break a person’s entire future. It is believed by some that 21 should be considered the minimum
age
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to enter into matrimony. I strongly disagree with
this
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statement and
this
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essay will argue as to why it should not be so. First of all, at 21 many
people
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have completed fundamental objectives and seek future prospects in order to succeed in
life
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. To elaborate, most
people
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graduate from college, start out on their first job, enter into post-graduate studies etc.
As a result
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, many find it difficult to commit to and understand each other, which requires more personal time and is vital for a successful
marriage
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.
Consequently
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, family disputes
due to
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simple matters may arise and culminate in permanent separation
due to
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the lack of experience at a younger
age
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.
Moreover
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, most individuals are
initially
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stepping into a society where living conditions are demanding and getting tougher with time.
In other words
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, young
people
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should be mature enough to face challenges in
life
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. 21 is the
age
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when the youth are incapable of fully taking up certain responsibilities that are required in order for a
marriage
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to be sustained.
For instance
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, taking care of kids, making correct financial decisions and balancing work and family
life
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are some core tasks necessary for a
marriage
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to sustain and many
people
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are not aware of unfortunately.
Therefore
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, couples may face severe repercussions
such
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as domestic violence, stress and trauma making 21 inappropriate for
marriage
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. To recapitulate, immaturity in both financial and personal aspects and
also
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the lack of understanding of critical responsibilities that come
along with
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marriage
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question whether 21 should be considered the least
age
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limit for individuals to have weddings.
Submitted by pasankonagama on

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Task Achievement
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure to clearly state your position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Consider organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to sentence complexity and variety to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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