IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #first #child #development
In recent years, many people have preferred to have their first children
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 older
age
.
This
 tendency back to several reasons
such
 as maturation,
enjoying
Correct word choice
and enjoying
show examples
 their life and conditions.
However
, it has numerous benefits that outweigh the draws.
Firstly
, some young couples need to make sure they are on one side before they have their first child.
Thus
, they need to have a longer time with each other to ensure they can raise a baby together.
Secondly
, in
last
 decades there has been a lot of awareness about child-rearing,
for example
, how to punish or deal with kids and parents want time to learn
such
 stuff,
in addition
 to, being more mature to handle any hard situation
occurs
Correct pronoun usage
that occurs
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the kid,
for instance
, bullying and medical issues.
Moreover
, raising a child requires many responsibilities,
consequently
, making decisions like that
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early
age
 will end any opportunity to do various enjoyable things
such
 as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and hanging out. So many couples decide to take some time to enjoy their life by doing different things. Certainly, getting a baby
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 older
age
 has some drawbacks. It can be difficult to be understanding
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 between parents and the child
due to
, the big
age
 gap. To illustrate, if the fathers decided to take that step at 25 the
age
 between them, their little kid would be approximately 26 years old, so keeping in mind the conflict between them when he is in his teenage. In conclusion,
although
 having a baby at an older
age
 has some drawbacks, the features are a lot more than them.
Therefore
, it can be argued that we should focus on spreading awareness about dealing with children .
Submitted by moaznashy123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Shift
  • Trend
  • Societal norms
  • Education and career
  • Financial stability
  • Reproductive technologies
  • Delayed marriages
  • Parenting responsibilities
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: