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Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

#countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development #atleast
Nowadays, many individuals are appointing a dedicated gym advisor for themselves, and they believe that it is beneficial over playing any indoor game or doing fitness classes. The major reason behind
this
 could be the speed improvement in the health or physical structure after getting trend with a personal coach. As far as I am concerned
this
 is a progressive step by many people towards the Healthy Nation program.
Firstly
, many of us try to achieve a desired strength goal through playing sports or attending exercise classes. Often, they failed to cross even the first milestone of their zero-fat journeys.
Consequently
, people have started hiring a gym trainer who cares about their daily workout routine
as well as
 timely diet intake.
As a result
, they are completing the transformation target within the set time limit.
Therefore
, individual fitness coaches are getting appointed more often. Pune City in Maharashtra,
for instance
, is one of the fittest cities in India, and personal health advisors are earning more in Pune owing to the results of their clients.
Due to
 an awareness of obesity issues, humans have started boring about their physical strength more than before.
That is
 why, physical workout advisor's appointments are becoming more common these days.
This
 can be termed as a positive development for the country because a healthy country code focuses more on the progress of the region rather than the issues related to an unhealthy population.
For example
, Norway is declared as a fittest country by WHO and we can see that the fitness industry there is blooming at a great pace.
To conclude
, the trend of getting a good health coach has increased these days in many nations
this
 habit helps to keep the citizens
this
 is free
as well as
 help their community to grow with an extra speed.
Submitted by ravirajole on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical structure of the essay is weak. The main points need to be better connected and supported.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, providing some relevant points but lacking depth and clarity in the argument. The ideas need to be developed more fully, and the essay should have a more balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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