Some countries have become much richer than others. Richer countries should now help poorer countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It can be noted that some
countries
have become much more affluent than others. Nowadays, wealthier countries
should support
less well-off nations. I partially agree with this
argument and I will write my arguments and whyreasons in the following paragraphs.
In my honest opinion, wealthy countries
should support
humble less advanced countries
because global economics is strongly related to other countries
’ relationships international relations owing to their respective trades.
For example
, Greece faced a financial crisis so lots of European countries
helped them to recover their economy a decade ago. Unless they recovered Greece’s economy, the European citizens would have gone to war with each other to defend their rights and nationalism. These nations’ activities lead to their maintaining peace and other countries
could an have suffered from the collapse them. Otherwise
, Greece and its citizens may have become isolated within from their citizens and international societies communities. If countries
face a financial crisis or they need help, wealthy countries
have to support
them – as in my example.
However
, if richer countries
continue to support
poorer countries
forever for a prolonged/an extended period of time, they will rely on their budget and food, so they cease to make efforts. This
ese leads to the weakening of their countries
’ wealth and forcereputation / image . From my perspective, richer countries
should teach poorer countries
how to boost their economy and force/ encourage / help/ show (how) them to consider how to overcome their domestic crisis.
Therefore
, wealthy countries
should partially help poorer countries
when poorer countries
face their any possible national criseis. Whereas
, poorer countries
should gain ideas on how they Formatted: HighlightFormatted: Highlight
should could/ ought to maintain their own countries
from enriched countries
. In conclusion, all countries
should cooperate with each other in order to maintain order in international societiescommunities.
253
Strengths: you used some very brave forms of grammar such
as what is possibly the most difficult technical tense – a past hypothetical tense; you developed the points effectively and naturally using relevant and appropriate language.
Development – being able to use the hypothetical tense – with 100% accuracy; avoiding repetition by finding synonyms.Submitted by aimy.emi1097 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider adding topic sentences to each paragraph to clearly convey the main idea of each section. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to avoid redundancy. Using a wider range of sentence types would improve clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors by proofreading your work. This will enhance the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presented a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, demonstrating a cohesive structure.
task achievement
You included relevant examples, such as the Greece financial crisis, which effectively supported your main points and enhanced the argument.
task achievement
The use of complex grammatical structures, even with minor inaccuracies, showed a strong command of language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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