IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #technology
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Existance
Correct your spelling
Existence
 in the world
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more comforts than living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary technology. I absolutely disagree about
these given idea
Change the determiner
this given idea
these given ideas
show examples
. Using
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the internet,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
be opened
Wrong verb form
open
show examples
 many choices for us.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Someone
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to
residing
Wrong verb form
reside
show examples
 with a simple
prefence
Correct your spelling
preference
. Like these people, they will try to reduce
using
Wrong verb form
the use
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Internet. Why? Because, They consider that, All types of phone,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our health.
For living
Change preposition
To live
show examples
peaceful
Change the word
peacefully
show examples
, So, They pick out
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way.
For instance
Linking Words
, My friend 's eyes had some
pains
Fix the agreement mistake
pain
show examples
 because of utilizing their
IPhone
Fix capitalization
iPhone
show examples
 a lot.
Thus
Linking Words
, She
decide
Change the verb form
decides
show examples
 to operate her eyes. Shortly, Durdona who is my friend,
She
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
select
Wrong verb form
selected
show examples
 to simple way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living. In
This
Linking Words
 way, There are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 comfortable sides for destroying
lazyness
Correct your spelling
laziness
,
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 healthy and living
peaceful
Change the adjective
peacefully
show examples
. Coming back to the
swcond
Correct your spelling
second
 idea, It may be counted
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 examples. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Phones have some drawbacks
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, There
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
are more beneficial sides. For extending our knowledge, for finding data
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
easily, Technology's item's or phones it is so needful like getting fresh air. Without a tough, People are able to know
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 by searching for the
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
fastly
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, Me, I
had been finding
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 many details from the site quickly, Which were related to my
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private field.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
During Being
Correct your spelling
while being
show examples
 a simple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology, Life is full of magnificent. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
writing
Wrong verb form
wrote
show examples
 above I absolutely disagree, Today's needs and work will work out with the Internet. Payments, by seeking for these, we will find and finish our work.
Submitted by sarvinozjumayeva813 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with stronger examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Use more appropriate vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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