In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argued that the primary purpose for heading to various shopping centres will only be for recreation rather than buying groceries and other necessities .
while
I agree with the idea to some extent, it is my firm belief that shopping reason will never be replaced by any form of entertainment. perhaps no one can deny that
such
retail complexes have transformed dramatically since the age of technological advancement and the evolution of customer service. The idea of an area for shopping purely is never enough to keep these
malls
in business. these days, shopping arcades are becoming increasingly amusing with the appearance of cinemas, bowling alleys, video games, cafes and even concert halls.
For instance
, a brand-new mall completed in 2018 in my local area has earned the highest prize as a perfect place to hang out and be seen
due to
a wider range of entertainment options offered including spas and a fitness centre.
Therefore
, some hold the view that amusement will be the principal goal of visiting those
malls
. Despite the persuasive arguments mentioned above, I still believe that there will always be a place for purchasing goals whenever people come to visit these shopping arcades.
Firstly
, modern humans already have thousands of amusement parks which act perfectly as recreational spots.
For example
, a theme park can offer many various entertainment choices
such
as roller coasters, climbing walls and Ferris wheels which can never be found at a purchasing centre.
Secondly
, I cannot imagine a mall without any indoor stores and shops.
Although
more visitors are taking those areas into account as recreational places, there is still a high proportion of shoppers and buyers in millions of shopping
malls
and centres. For these people, coffee shops, gyms and other amusing options are just additional elements to make the shopping experience more fascinating and enjoyable. In conclusion, it seems to me that no matter how entertaining future
malls
will be, there will always be room for shopping purposes as we consider factors of other entertaining parks and a larger percentage of shoppers in
such
places.
Submitted by periset on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. However, the response could be more focused and provide a deeper analysis of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are connected coherently, but the essay could benefit from stronger links between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of expressions effectively. However, there are instances where more precise and accurate word choices could enhance the clarity of the argument.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good command of grammar, with accurate sentence structures and varied tenses. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing that could be revised for greater clarity.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: