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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of survey about people coffee and tea buying and drinking habit in five australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habit #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart gives information about the survey of
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 and tea consumption and
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 in five
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
 ports in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
people
Use synonyms
 in Adelaide prefer to drink and
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 instant
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of society in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four cities have
habit
Add an article
a habit
the habit
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 drinking fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. The highest number of
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoyed
show examples
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in a cafe are from Melbourne and Hobart, with around 60% respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in Sydney and Brisban
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 enjoyed it accounted for 60% and over 50% each. Meanwhile,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 in Adelaide is the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 (just below 40%) in comparison with those in other countries.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the consumption of fresh brewed
coffee
Use synonyms
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 40% in Sydney and Melbourne. The second highest is Hobart with roughly 40%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the other ports with approximately 40%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in Adelaide drink instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 more likely than
people
Use synonyms
 in the other two categories.
However
Linking Words
, the highest consumed of instant
coffee
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in Hobart and Brisbane with just over half
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Following that, society in Melbourne stood at under half,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 in Sydney accounted for above 40%.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee with synonyms.
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