At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

In the future, the population will grow massively, leading to the instability of youngsters and elder individuals. Herein,

this

essay will discuss how beneficial to have a more junior group. To commence with, compared to the elders, juveniles are fresh with ideas and innovations. Their youthful minds directed the civilization to a more advanced era. In line with their ambitions, the younger population is highly literate in the surging science, technology, and business. Driven by high motivation,

minors

are able to monetize every aspect of their lives. By way of illustration, by combining three important aspects, namely science, machinery, and money, today we have a system named Amazon which has helped us to buy, sell, and send goods across the globe within a minute.

Thus

, a group of young communities becomes the best alternative for the elderly because their creative lives have been boosted.

However

, the dominating number of

minors

has its own weak point. Modern culture has impacted our recent cohort with bad manners.

In contrast

to the past age group, the recent period lacks good behaviour.

This

can be seen from a high percentage of criminal offences conducted by

minors

. Elders play a pivotal role in educating children on how to manner well.

Hence

, it is essential for parents to maintain the quality of their habits and pass them on to the next eras.

To conclude

, the counterbalance between young and old people is essential

due to

the mindfulness of youngsters.

Minors

have more benefits for the advancement of civilization, but, shall keep it in mind of their habits.

Submitted by salwaasfra on Tue Oct 10 2023

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task achievement

Address both the advantages and disadvantages of the situation

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more logical manner

coherence cohesion

Include a clearer thesis statement in your introduction

lexical resource

Improve the quality of your language and grammar

grammatical range accuracy

Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

many people think that university should teach students the real knowledge that comes from practice . Do you agree or disagree

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.