IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smartphones #intelligence #technology #minds
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The unprecedented growth of smartphone usage led
people
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 to communicate through
the
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apply
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modern technology, which could
resulted
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result
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 in adopting time-effective but harmful actions
instead
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 of using collective intelligence derived
by
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from
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 our ancestors. I moderately agree with the given statement and in
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will outline the reasons below. On the one hand, because
of
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apply
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smartphones
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 are capable of connecting to
internet
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the internet
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 and AI, nowadays most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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people
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 are accomplishing their tasks with the aid of
smartphones
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for example
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 calculations, texting,
even
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and even
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 remembering
the
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apply
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dates and specific numbers, which could
results
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result
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with
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in
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 weak memory and decreasing attention span.
On the other hand
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, artificial intelligence by
smartphones
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are
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is
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 increasingly utilized for communication with not only with individuals but
also
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 with the AI itself.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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students
are
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apply
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currently use artificial intelligence in order to answer their questions and
making
Verb problem
do
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 their homework, rather than doing
themselves
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it themselves
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.
On
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In
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 conclusion,
use
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the use
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 of
smartphones
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 in order to complete tasks
are
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is
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 sharply escalated,
therefore
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people
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are not tend
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do not tend
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 to do
themselves
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it themselves
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 anymore.
Consequently
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, it will disrupt
people
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's thinking processes unless it is limited.
Submitted by airbender on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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