IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

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Many individuals in developing countries suffer from preventable diseases
due to
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 the prohibitive cost of medication. I strongly believe that pharmaceutical companies should offer their products at reduced
prices
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 in these regions, as
this
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 approach promotes social equity, public
health
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, and long-term business sustainability. Lowering drug
prices
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 in low-income countries would have a profound impact on public
health
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 by making essential medicines more accessible.
For instance
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, affordable malaria treatment could drastically reduce mortality rates in sub-Saharan Africa, where the disease is widespread.
Additionally
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, improved
health
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 outcomes contribute to economic growth, as a healthier workforce enhances productivity and reduces the financial burden on national healthcare systems. Critics argue that lowering drug
prices
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 may undermine pharmaceutical companies' ability to fund research and innovation.
However
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,
this
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 concern can be addressed through tiered pricing models, where wealthier nations pay higher
prices
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 to compensate for lower costs in poorer regions.
Moreover
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, international organizations and governments can provide subsidies or tax incentives to pharmaceutical firms, ensuring profitability without compromising humanitarian efforts. Beyond the ethical considerations already discussed, affordable medication fosters goodwill and enhances corporate reputation. Companies that engage in socially responsible pricing are likely to gain consumer trust and brand loyalty, which may lead to greater long-term profitability.
Furthermore
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, preventing disease outbreaks in developing nations reduces the risk of global
health
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 crises, benefiting the entire world. In conclusion, making essential medicines more affordable in developing countries is both a moral obligation and a strategic decision that benefits public
health
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, economic stability, and the pharmaceutical industry itself.

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are thoroughly supported with examples or further explanations; consider expanding on the counterargument to provide a more balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a good logical flow, consider using more varied linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong argument for reducing drug prices, supported by relevant examples and a clear stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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