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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows expenditures of four car companies on advertising in the UK in 2002.

The table below shows expenditures of four car companies on advertising in the UK in 2002.
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The table shows the amount of money that four car manufacturing companies spent on
different
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 forms of advertising in the UK, in 2002.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Renault spent the largest amount of money on advertising during 2002.
In addition
Linking Words
, TV advertisements were by far the most popular advertising format,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for cinema advertising. In 2002, Cetirizine allocated $70
million
Use synonyms
 for TV advertisements,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for Vauxhall was slightly lower, at $65
million
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. Meanwhile, $59
million
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 was spent on TV commercials by Renault, and only $45
million
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 by Rover. In terms of press advertising, the amount of money spent by Renault was again
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
, at $45
million
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, slightly higher than that of Rover, at $38
million
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Vauxhall and Cetirizine only spent $8
million
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 and $12
million
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 on press advertising, respectively. Of the other forms, advertising in cinemas and outdoors incurred the lowest costs, with less than $10
million
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 spent by each company. It is
also
Linking Words
 notable that expenditure on radio advertising by all car manufacturers was similar, at $15
million
Use synonyms
 each.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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