Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I am one of the students from Applied Meteorology, IPB University. I learnt about things related to climate change and how it can happen. Of course, I am optimistic that what I
learnt
Replace the word
learned
show examples
can be useful in the future,
for example
in COP activities. My motivation is to implement the thoughts and innovations I have based on knowledge and experience so that it can be an asset to participate in the COP which will be held in Dubai, UAE.
Therefore
, I hope that I can participate in the COP and it will be an unforgettable experience for me to participate in 
this
 activity.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
The introduction and conclusion should directly address the given question.
task achievement
The main points are not fully supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The organization and logical flow of ideas could be improved.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement and could benefit from a more structured approach.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary used is limited and could be expanded.
grammatical range accuracy
There are some errors in grammar and sentence structure that need to be addressed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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