In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Nowadays, many people have a bad habit of smoking. Recently, many regimes have imposed rules and regulations to prohibit smoking in common areas. I strongly agree with the above opinion,
due to
the fact that it directly assists in reducing the
health
risk for society and decreasing
pollution
. To commence with, one of the prime benefits of enacting commandments on smoking is reducing the
health
risks for society. Smoking in public spaces escalates the
health
risk immensely, not only for the smokers but
also
for the non-smokers nearby.
For instance
, a recent research finding disclosed that smoking is the main cause of lung cancer and heart attacks.
Further
, it reveals that 57% of people prefer to stay away from smokers,in order to avoid the
health
risk for non-smokers.
In addition
, the other main advantage is it results in a reduction of
pollution
and leads to the conservation of the ecosystem, and
also
both flora and fauna. The commandments mainly reduce air
pollution
and
also
decline the irregular dumping of the remaining cigarettes directly into the environment, which harms the surrounding living things.
For example
, authorities found more than 500 cigarettes remaining in the beach area in Colombo.
Moreover
, it will help many people to minimise their addiction to smoking, which will greatly reduce air
pollution
, and provide us with more fresh air to inhale. In conclusion, I believe enacting
this
law will greatly reduce the
health
hazard to society and provide support to safeguard the flora and fauna.
This
would be a great achievement for both the state and the public.
Submitted by dmsangeeth on

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task achievement
While the essay has a strong structure, further elaboration on some examples would make the arguments more compelling. Consider providing more data or details about how governments have approached this issue differently around the world.
coherence cohesion
Ensure transition words are used more frequently to make the progression between points as smooth as possible. Also, revisiting some logical connectors can enhance the natural flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear, strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and closing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are well structured, with each paragraph clearly addressing a separate point in favour of the ban on smoking in public places.
task achievement
The essay effectively tackles the task by directly addressing the prompt and maintaining clear relevance throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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