Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
fashion
Use synonyms
plays an undeniable role in
people
Use synonyms
's day-to-day life.
While
Linking Words
some individuals believe fashionable goods could cost a fortune, others assume it is totally worth it to pay for the trendy
items
Use synonyms
as they are an integral part of their lives.
However
Linking Words
, brand
items
Use synonyms
could be quite prestigious. In my opinion, the quality is much more important than just a logo.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a number of
people
Use synonyms
strongly believe wearing high-end
items
Use synonyms
replicates their social position. It is believed that these individuals feel more confident by wearing expensive
items
Use synonyms
and they can apparently use these goods as a showcase.
For instance
Linking Words
, Birkin bags by Hermes are considered a luxurious item and not everyone is able to purchase it. Since it is a costly item, those who invest in them can readily display their wealth in social gatherings.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they feel more confident even if it is a false identity.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe
brands
Use synonyms
can identify their position in society, the more they spend, the more attention they receive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
fashion
Use synonyms
can be found in more reasonably priced
items
Use synonyms
as well.
Due to
Linking Words
the evolution of
fashion
Use synonyms
, some
brands
Use synonyms
provide goods for those who are not privileged enough to afford
items
Use synonyms
which cost an arm and a leg. These
brands
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as fast
fashion
Use synonyms
brands
Use synonyms
, have high-quality
items
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
to their beautiful design.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
Birkin bags are undoubtedly a luxurious item, Mango or Zara bags could be a great choice for those who are not able to afford thousands of dollars and still want to follow the trends and remain stylish. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
overpay for high-end
brands
Use synonyms
, in my opinion, more economical
brands
Use synonyms
can fulfil their needs by providing good quality and beautifully designed
items
Use synonyms
at more reasonable prices.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more supporting examples and specific details to strengthen your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: