Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is true that the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

habitual

festivals

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

forgotten and that

people

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attend these

cermonies

Correct your spelling

ceremonies

for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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more recreational purposes.

While

Linking Words

I agree that it

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

more common to have fun during

festivals

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, I believe that there are still some

committments

Correct your spelling

commitments

to traditions that lead to

Use synonyms

people'

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people's

show examples

appearance. On the one hand, I think,

festivals

Use synonyms

have their roots in the past when

people

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have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

to arrange them to protect their lives or even be safe from religious punishments

although

Linking Words

they may not have that much seriousness for

today

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today's

show examples

generations

Fix the agreement mistake

generation

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, in some traditional tribes, members had to present a symbolic

pray

Replace the word

prayer

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for god in the spring to offer their admiration

as well as

Linking Words

respect and

therfore garantee

Correct your spelling

therefore guarantee

the survival of their lands and

cultivaion

Correct your spelling

cultivation

in the following year,

otherwise

Linking Words

they might lose

yeilds

Correct your spelling

yields

. In comparison, nowadays

people

Use synonyms

have no need for

such

Linking Words

a festival to protect their lives.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite considering

festivals

Use synonyms

as ways of enjoyment,

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

are still participating to celebrate annual traditions to confirm with whatever their

ancecters

Correct your spelling

ancestors

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

. Take

mouring

Correct your spelling

mourning

as an instance,

modernzed

Correct your spelling

modernized

people

Use synonyms

may not mourn as

deep

Change the word

deeply

show examples

as their old generation did for an old well-known person or they may even see it as a recreative event, but they

also

Linking Words

show their respect and give importance to its

relogional

Correct your spelling

regional

aspects by gathering and doing symbolic

mouring

Correct your spelling

mourning

. By doing

this

Linking Words

, they not only protect traditions and customs from being vanished

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

promote

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

to be in the minds of future ones. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the main aspects of presenting

festivals

Use synonyms

may become

vivide

Correct your spelling

vivid

and

people

Use synonyms

have dun during

festival

Add an article

the festival

show examples

period, there are still firm beliefs about them in their minds.

z.rajabi

Oct 11, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Work on presenting a clear and focused position on the issue in the introduction.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task and provides relevant, specific examples to support the ideas.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes(reasons) of this? What (effects) will this have on society?