IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Marriage
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 is a special and important event in your
life
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 and some individuals believe that a couple should have a minimum
age
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 of 21 before they can legally marry each other. It is believed that it is right to postpone
marriage
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 to the
age
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 of 21
instead
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 of the current 18 years of
age
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.
This
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 essay will give 2 reasons why
people
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 should not commit to each other for the law until they are 21 years old. First of all, at the
age
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 of 21,
people
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 have more
life
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 experience and are more capable of making major decisions in
life
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. It is said that the majority of 21-year-olds have lived on their own and are able to look after themselves compared to younger
people
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 who are dependent on their parents.
For example
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, students who live alone need to be able to cook their own meals and know how to pay their own rent.
This
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 gives them more
life
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 experience.
Secondly
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, the amount of
people
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 who have a full-time job has increased by the
age
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 of 21, and will
therefore
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 have more financial stability. If a person is economically independent, it has a better capability to look after themselves and their partner and
therefore
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 more able to maintain the relationship.
For instance
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, financial independence will decrease the pressure on a partnership, and it will increase higher chances of success in the future. In conclusion, 21-year-olds have more
life
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 experience and are more likely to be economically independent.
This
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 will increase the odds of a successful young
marriage
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. I personally believe that it is important to legalize
marriage
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 from the
age
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 of 21.

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Task Response
Make sure to directly address the prompt and provide a strong opinion on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Use specific examples and explanations to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall organization of the essay is good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure to use cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and shows a good range of words and phrases. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range
Your grammar is generally accurate. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structures to ensure clarity and avoid any minor errors.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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