In the last 20 years, there have been significant development in the field of information and technology, for example, the world wide web and communication by email. however, these developments in IT are likely to have more negative effects than positive in the future. To what extend do you agree with this view.

it is said that developments in communication and the global network are likely to have more negative effects than positive
in
Correct pronoun usage
ones in
show examples
the future. I strongly disagree with
this
opinion
due to
a suitable connection with
people
around the world.
This
development has been a suitable way in order to connect
people
around the world since 20 years ago. That means. nowadays, families have the option to ask about their children at the least time everywhere.They can send text emails and images. It will provide parents and relatives with a convenient method in the next years.
In addition
, it offers equality in having access to suitable information in a timely manner. from an economic viewpoint, some
people
have failed to obtain efficient data
due to
its cost in the
last
20 years . Owing to the advancements in technology,
people
should not buy different expensive books, pay a great amount of money for various training or a private tutor.
Therefore
, it will be a good opportunity to consume the information shared on the Internet. becoming isolated and
less
Add a missing verb
having less
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face-to-face communication can be one of the consequences of technological advancement. In terms of
this
, new robots and gadgets have been developed.
People
will speak with these gadgets and they will be reluctant to physical communication.
for example
, the chatGPT and the Pie application will have widespread usage in future and some individuals will ask them questions and they will
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
their instructions.
This
will lead to reluctance to make real friends and physical interactions.
Moreover
, the development in the usage of email has caused more conflicts.
This
means that most information
such
as grief and happiness is not to
offer
Wrong verb form
be offered
show examples
when they are written because they need to be expressed with emotion and speaking.
Therefore
, they may cause misinformation and arguments. In my opinion, these ideas are not valid
due to
the fact that these applications will introduce friends and families to address emotional problems and some emojis are provided for expressing ideas and emotions. In conclusion,
although
the advancement in technology may have some adverse effects in future, in my idea, its positive impacts override the negative ones.
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. Make sure your introduction clearly states your position and briefly outlines your main points to set the stage for the essay. Similarly, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points you've made.
logical structure
Your points are generally logical, but there is room for improvement in flow and clarity. Try using more transitional phrases to link ideas together smoothly. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
relevant specific examples
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complete response
You have made a clear argument and have taken a definitive stance on the issue, which is important for a high task response score.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in your essay are clear and comprehensive, addressing both positive and negative aspects of technological development in communication.
supported main points
Your essay covers several relevant points, such as the convenience of global communication and access to information, which are well-aligned with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • health issues
  • eye strain
  • posture
  • physical activity
  • privacy
  • security concerns
  • data breaches
  • identity theft
  • cyber-attacks
  • digital divide
  • marginalized communities
  • inequality
  • automation
  • AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  • job displacement
  • unemployment
  • new skills
  • mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • social isolation
  • environmental impact
  • pollution
  • electronic waste
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