The idea of having a single career is becoming old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

#idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life

Since the world has changed,

people

have to adjust their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

to be able to survive in our world nowadays. Granted that

people

having only one stable

job

is enough.

Nonetheless

, it is an old fashioned

thoughts

Correct the article-noun agreement

thought

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days, everything can happen

any

Change preposition

at any

show examples

time either bad

things

or good

things

, so it’s unable to be denied that having many careers as alternatives is a really good idea. In the past,

people

thought that having one stable occupation

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

enough for them to live as they got paid

Change preposition

show examples

an adequate level, but nowadays,

people

don’t want just enough for living. Notwithstanding

people

have enough

money

for living

Change preposition

to live

show examples

, their desire is unlimited, so they want to earn as much

money

as possible to satisfy themselves by purchasing

things

they want.

Also

, the price of goods is a lot

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

compared to the past, so the

money

they earn from

the

Change the word

their

show examples

only

job

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not enough. As everyone knows, it is unpredictable what is going to happen in the future, so some

people

probably have second and third

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

of earning

money

Hence

incase

Correct your spelling

in case

show examples

something bad happens, and it makes them lose their main

job

, they have the other way to make

money

and be able to buy the

things

they need. In a nutshell, it is impossible that

people

’s notion would be mutual, so it literally depends on the person

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how many ways of earning

money

they want to have and for what purpose.

However

, it is well known that thoughts of having more than one

job

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more popular nowadays owing to many factors.

Submitted by dondollaraus on Wed Oct 11 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The idea of having a single career is becoming old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

some say that one of the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: “Children nowadays have too much freedom.”

Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while others think there are more important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that intelligent student should teach separately whereas others think that everyone should teach together. Discuss both views and give your opinion