Some people think that celebrities deserve more privacy than they have . Do you agree or disagree ?

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Some individuals consider that
celebrities
Use synonyms
deserve more privacy than they have. In my point of
view
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view,
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I totally agree
with
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apply
show examples
that famous people deserve more privacy.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we can think that being a celebrity is good because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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earn a huge amount of money, attend the best events, pictures of every single celebrity on the news,
magazines
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in magazines
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or on social media, cars, mansions and luxury
life
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.
This
Linking Words
is what we see from the out. But
actually
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actually,
show examples
celebrities
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cannot live a normal
life
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. They cannot visit public places,
such
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as malls or bars, because people will ask them for a picture or autograph. Being
a
Correct article usage
apply
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famous means that your
life
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becomes an open book to the public. It is difficult for them to have any privacy.
Secondly
Linking Words
, every famous person has their fans.
For instance
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, fans are always curious to know more about their favourite famous entertainers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they sometimes may get inspired by what they do or what they say. If fans do not like something that they heard about them, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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not like them anymore or they can print bad stories. It can lead
celebrities
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to anxiety, depression or other mental health issues because they have feelings and emotions like everyone else.
Thus
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, famous people can feel unhappy even if they are famous and rich.
To sum up
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, I totally agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
celebrities
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deserve a private
life
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, even more than others.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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