Some people think that celebrities deserve more privacy than they have . Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #celebrities #privacy

Some individuals consider that

celebrities

deserve more privacy than they have. In my point of

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

I totally agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that famous people deserve more privacy.

Firstly

, we can think that being a celebrity is good because they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

earn a huge amount of money, attend the best events, pictures of every single celebrity on the news,

magazines

Change preposition

in magazines

show examples

or on social media, cars, mansions and luxury

life

This

is what we see from the out. But

actually

Add a comma

actually,

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celebrities

cannot live a normal

life

. They cannot visit public places,

such

as malls or bars, because people will ask them for a picture or autograph. Being

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous means that your

life

becomes an open book to the public. It is difficult for them to have any privacy.

Secondly

, every famous person has their fans.

For instance

, fans are always curious to know more about their favourite famous entertainers.

Therefore

, they sometimes may get inspired by what they do or what they say. If fans do not like something that they heard about them, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not like them anymore or they can print bad stories. It can lead

celebrities

to anxiety, depression or other mental health issues because they have feelings and emotions like everyone else.

Thus

, famous people can feel unhappy even if they are famous and rich.

To sum up

, I totally agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

celebrities

deserve a private

life

, even more than others.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Wed Oct 11 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that celebrities deserve more privacy than they have . Do you agree or disagree ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the government should decide which subject should study at the university, while others think that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

In some pleces old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better ways to show that we care about them.discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?