Some people believe that it is the government's responsibility to provide care and financial to support people after they retire. Others, however, think that individuals themselves saving money in their own care when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The issue of
retirement
support
is a topic of contention, with compelling arguments presented on both sides. Some advocate for government
-funded financial assistance and care for citizens following their retirement
, while
others insist on individual responsibility in planning and saving for retirement
.
Proponents of government
-provided retirement
support
assert that it aligns with principles of social justice. They highlight the fact that numerous individuals
may struggle to accumulate sufficient savings
for their retirement
due to
a myriad of factors, including meager
wages, mounting medical bills, and unforeseen financial burdens. Change the spelling
meagre
Government
-sponsored support
is seen as an essential mechanism to ensure that retirees can enjoy a decent quality of life during their post-employment years.
For instance
, Singapore's administration has implemented a Central Provident Fund (CPF) scheme. The CPF operates as a mandatory savings
initiative for employed Singaporeans and their employers. When these workers eventually retire, they can tap into their CPF savings
to finance their retirement
years.
On the contrary
, adversaries of government
-backed retirement
support
argue that it is inequitable to obligate taxpayers to finance the retirement
of others. They contend that governmental management of financial resources is not always the most efficient approach.
Moreover
, some contend that government
-provided retirement
support
may have a disincentivizing effect on personal financial responsibility. They point out that when people are aware of government
guarantees, they may be less inclined to proactively save for their retirement
.
For instance
, studies have indicated that individuals
residing in nations with extensive government
-provided retirement
benefits exhibit a reduced inclination to independently save for their retirement
.
In my perspective, it is imperative for the government
to play a role in furnishing retirement
support
to its citizens. Nonetheless
, I firmly believe that individuals
should take responsibility for their retirement
planning and savings
.
One strategy to strike a balance between these two objectives is to institute a universal retirement
savings
accounts system. Under this
system, all employed individuals
would be mandated to contribute a portion of their income to dedicated retirement
accounts. The government
could then
provide matching contributions for low- and middle-income earners. This
approach would guarantee that every individual has a fundamental level of retirement
savings
.
Furthermore
, the government
should offer tax incentives and employ other means to motivate people to save for their retirement
. Additionally
, the government
could provide financial advisory services and educational resources to empower individuals
to make informed decisions about their retirement
planning.
By adopting such
a well-rounded approach, governments can facilitate the assurance of a secure and comfortable retirement
for all citizens.Submitted by farzam.dowlati on
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task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by offering counterarguments to both views.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more impressive.
grammatical range accuracy
Take care of sentence structure errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.