IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care other say that walking and jumping stairs are more effective. discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #gym #clubs #health #care #stairs
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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that going to
healthcare
Use synonyms
 facilities is
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
opton
Correct your spelling
option
 to maintain
health
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 other
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 other activities
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them fit and more
benficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. Both groups
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 compelling reasons
for justifying
Change preposition
to justify
show examples
 their assertion.I believe that
healthcare
Use synonyms
 clubs are more
benficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
health
Use synonyms
,I will discuss both
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 in upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost reason why gyms and
healthcare
Use synonyms
 clubs are beneficial
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 there are various tools in the
gym
Use synonyms
 that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 exercise interesting. For each
body
Use synonyms
part
Add a comma
part,
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 there is a different machine.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, we can take
experts
Change the noun form
expert
show examples
 advice
along with
Linking Words
dietery
Correct your spelling
dietary
 consultation from them , which will be helpful
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run and
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 the
health
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
.
Use synonyms
Gym
Add an article
The gym
show examples
 makes
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 consistent to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 the
body
Use synonyms
 goal.
For example
Linking Words
, the President of Nigeria was in the
boderline
Correct your spelling
borderline
 of obese, he started doing
weigh
Correct your spelling
weight
show examples
 training in
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gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
 which made him fit and healthy. Despite
this
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that walking is useful.
People
Use synonyms
 in the
mdern
Correct your spelling
modern
 era
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have enough time to go to
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
regualrly
Correct your spelling
regularly
,so they
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 to
cobine
Correct your spelling
combine
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular activities with exercise, which is cheaper as well.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of
elvators
Correct your spelling
elevators
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
staircase
Correct article usage
a staircase
show examples
 and
instead
Linking Words
 of going by car for 1-2 kms ,they go by walk.It is
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
show examples
 and consistent way of
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 fat.
Moreover
Linking Words
, doctors in hospitals
advises
Change the verb form
advise
show examples
 patients to walk
regualrly
Correct your spelling
regularly
 to maintain weight and
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 heart condition. In conclusion,having mulled over the aforementioned paragraph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 gyms or other
healthcare
Use synonyms
 gyms are more important to maintain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
 and
body
Use synonyms
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introduction conclusion
Revise the introduction and conclusion to make them more clear and concise.
support
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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