IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

21.Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe that governments should strictly control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #water #governments #control #resource
Water
 is a vital factor in our lives.
However
, opinion varies among people, and some believe that they have the right to
use
 as much fresh
water
 as they want,
while
 others argue that the
use
 of fresh
water
 should be controlled. Considering the impact of
water
resources
 on society and individuals, I believe that the way to
use
 fresh
water
 should be limited by governments.
Firstly
, the fact that economic progress is associated with freshwater
resources
 indicates that the allocation of
water
 should be monitored by nations. To be more specific, freshwater is a crucial element in various financial departments.
For example
, the irrigation of crops in agriculture cannot be conducted without fresh
water
. Once a shortage of fresh
water
 occurs, plants cannot grow, and social activities may
also
 be hindered
due to
 food shortages.
As a result
, freshwater
resources
 should be protected and limited by countries.
Secondly
, freshwater should be regulated by governments strictly as the health and the economy of the public can
also
 be influenced.
In other words
, the balance between supply and demand can be broken
due to
 the disuse of
water
, leading to an increase in the price of freshwater.
Although
 individuals have the right to
use
water
 in any way, they have to pay a higher cost, which will bring a financial burden to themselves.
Therefore
, people to save
water
resources
also
 have benefits for themselves. In conclusion, freshwater
resources
 are important to both society and individuals.
Although
 everyone has the right to decide how to allocate
water
, considering the impact on social activities and oneself, I insist that the
use
 of
water
resources
 should be regulated by the government.
Submitted by hxk7664 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced discussion by addressing counter-arguments and alternative perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas and coherence.
lexical resource
Demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Develop more complex sentence structures and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and tenses.
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