Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations

Some suggest that it is better to change employers over time,

while

others choose to

work

for the same

company

all their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Although

working in the same place can give

employees

more bonuses, I think that switching

companies

could bring more salary and

experience

. People who

work

for the same organisation can have more benefits and bonuses because of their contribution to the

company

for a long time.

Also

, they do not have accommodate to the working team since they

work

with them for a long period and they know everything they have to do.

For instance

, a majority of government

employees

tend to stay in the organisation trying to be promoted to higher positions so, they get more benefits.

However

, it could be boring to do the same job in a whole life and the promotion to the higher levels is not guaranteed because there could be many people on the line. The reason why people choose to

work

in different

companies

is salaries, which are offered by other employers, and different

experience

That is

to say that many get offers from various organisations with a significant increase to their yearly income, and

employees

sometimes prefer to challenge themselves with new

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

For example

, in high-tech

companies

such

as Amazon and Google,

employees

often change the

company

after a year or two because mostly they are offered

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

salaries and they believe they would contribute more to the other organization

due to

the

experience

they gained from the previous

company

Therefore

, I believe it is better to switch working places.

To conclude

while

being employed by the same

company

over time could bring more benefits,

this

essay believes that changing working

companies

would be more financially beneficial and give various

work

experience

Submitted by study.kuvondik on Thu Oct 12 2023

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task achievement

Consider providing more examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and consistent logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammatical errors and aim for more grammatical accuracy.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Longevity
Corporate ladder
Adaptability
Comfort zone
Professional network
Diverse skill set
Industry exposure
Innovation
Resilience
Seniority
Job market
Career trajectory
Company culture
Professional growth
Job security
Promotion prospects
Cross-functional experience

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