Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #focus

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It is widely believed by some that, for adolescents, learning every

subject

Use synonyms

in school would reap more benefits,

while

Linking Words

others state that prioritizing a single

topic

Use synonyms

to which someone is attracted is better. In my opinion, the potential of focusing on a single

subject

Use synonyms

is tremendous, but learning other

subjects

Use synonyms

on the basic level is

also

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necessary. By focusing the learning program of teenagers on a specific

topic

Use synonyms

in which they are invested, it will be easier for them to dive into the

topic

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and learn it thoroughly because they do not have to divide their attention to other

subjects

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. Aside from that, they might be more experienced in that

topic

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since they have indulged themselves in that

topic

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due to

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the fact that it is their hobby.

Furthermore

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, if someone is doing something that they enjoy, they will feel content with what they do, and,

as a result

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, they will be satisfied.

Thus

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, the feeling of satisfaction will result in a sustainable learning process and excellent

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

On the other hand

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, learning other

subjects

Use synonyms

might be a necessity in several countries.

For instance

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, in Indonesia, the curriculum, which has been implemented for years, requires the students to learn all

subjects

Use synonyms

without a single exception.

This

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can be beneficial for those who have not decided what field they take in the future because learning entirely new

subjects

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will open up new perspectives for teenagers. Not only that learning other

subjects

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provide a new view but it will

also

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boost the individuals' knowledge in their main

subject

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since many topics are related to each other. In conclusion, I agree that learning a single

subject

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with which someone is deeply in love will be a good thing in the long run, but it does not change the truth that studying other

subjects

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outside of their main

subject

Use synonyms

will support the individuals.

Submitted by ryantobayu12 on Thu Oct 12 2023

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced response. However, providing more specific examples to support your points would make your argument even stronger.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and your essay is easy to follow. Nevertheless, a bit more depth in your explanations could enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim to ensure that each point is elaborately developed and linked back to your central argument.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more varied sentence structures and cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay and make it more engaging.

task achievement

You have successfully presented a balanced argument, considering both sides of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are logically structured, making your essay easy to read and understand.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

well-rounded education
versatile skill set
personal development
future career opportunities
identify strengths
satisfying career
successful career
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
academic burnout
diverse curriculum
learning experience
engaging and stimulating
solid grounding
well-rounded individuals
diverse conversations
different perspectives

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Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important.