In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

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Nowadays,

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the

show examples

young generation

are

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inspired to find

occupation

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an occupation

show examples

or even see

Correct article usage

the

show examples

world

Use synonyms

in foreign countries for a year between graduating from high school and starting

high

Correct article usage

a high

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degree of education. The main benefit of

this

Linking Words

is their views

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show examples

life

migh

Correct your spelling

might

change and the main drawback is that it can be dangerous for

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. One of the principal advantages of working and travelling in another

country

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particularly if

people

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young

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are young

show examples

is that their horizon to

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world

Add an article

the world

show examples

might be changed because they might have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable experience at

work

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and they will have plans and ambitions.

For instance

Linking Words

, if they

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

find a great community with whom they might achieve a lot of goals and receive education , they can be well prepared for their university. A primary example of

this

Linking Words

students

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is students

show examples

from Uzbekistan,

which

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who

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have finished school and went

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show examples

the USA to

work

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and travel.

As a result

Linking Words

, their

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

views

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show examples

the

world

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was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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altered because they have worked in good companies and

saw

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seen

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the beautiful places of our

world

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Moreover

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, they fully

learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

English

Correct article usage

the English

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language and were prepared well for university. One of the main disadvantages of working and travelling in another

country

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is that it can negatively

impacted

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impact

be impacted

show examples

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apply

show examples

their future life as

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

Use synonyms

work

Wrong verb form

working

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in foreign countries

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not

safely

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safe

show examples

because nowadays our

world

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became

Wrong verb form

has become

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harmful and

people

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ready for

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

robbery or even

kill

Wrong verb form

killing

show examples

people

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that's why most

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apply

show examples

parents do not give confirmation to leave from own

country

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. Recent research showed that over 40 % of

young

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the young

a young

show examples

breed

Fix the agreement mistake

breeds

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who went

into

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show examples

foreign countries

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

died by

hand

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the hand

show examples

of murders.

Consequently

Linking Words

, parents particularly young

people

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should be more responsible for their future life as it

gaves

Correct your spelling

gives

once only. In conclusion, even safety

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is placed in first place

people

Use synonyms

should consider about their future career progression.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they should be more confident and just see

Correct article usage

the

show examples

world

Use synonyms

and

work

Use synonyms

to have an experience in

foreign

Add an article

a foreign

show examples

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by aikumarbekarys on Thu Oct 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally to the next, and use cohesive devices to link ideas together.

task achievement

The response addresses some aspects of the task but lacks depth and development. Provide more comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possibles solutions?

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should pearn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.