Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Famous
people
tend to have an
influence
on their followers.
This
has opened a debate
due to
some
people
think that professional
athletes
have a positive impact as models for young
people
,
while
others argue the opposite. In my opinion, even if some professional
athletes
don't have the best attitude or behaviour they can still be a better
influence
than any other famous person.
Firstly
, the main reason why some professional
athletes
are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
negative role models is because their attitude can be rude. Whenever they lose a game, or something they didn't expect to happen they can show a rude attitude. Proof of
this
is all the tennis players who break their racquet when they lose a game, like Serena Williams or Roger Federer. Young
people
can copy these actions and that's why others argue they can be a bad
influence
.
However
, professional
athletes
can be a very positive
influence
, especially on young
people
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. Proof of
this
is all the ones that have inspired kids or teenagers to practice any sport. In my experience, since I was a kid, Serena Williams has always been a role model for me because she proves that a woman tennis player can be as good as a man. Recently Coco Gauff won the U.S Open and that was very inspiring for me too because as a 19-year-old, she showed me what
people
of my age can achieve with hard work. Many
athletes
have inspired not only me but thousands of young
people
too and that behaviour is the only that matters
while
inspiring others. Even though professional
athletes
can commit mistakes, as any other person, they still are a better
influence
than anybody. They inspire young
people
to achieve their dreams and prove that with hard work anything can be possible.
Submitted by dannie.sanval on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: