Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #path #work #gain #school

Attending college is crucial in order to get a degree that sometimes opens new doors in the future and leads you to a more successful path.

However

, some

people

decide to

work

inmediately

Correct your spelling

immediately

after they graduate from high school. Even though both decisions can help you to construct a professional career, going to college is crucial to achieving

this

goal. Nowadays, young

people

say it is better to start working as soon as possible so that you can gain

experience

and new contacts.

That is

why they choose to get a job, and as a young

person

Add a comma

person,

show examples

you can learn easily and quite fast.

For example

people

who want to have a company choose to start their business as soon as possible and

work

on it, or

work

for a company first to gain

experience

. For these

people

the more

experience

they have, the easier will be to be successful.

However

, it is clearly impossible to apply

this

logic to every type of job. Some jobs require previous studies and without it, they wouldn't even exist.

For example

, any type of medical job

such

as doctor or dentist,

also

other professions like architectures or lawyers require prior of many years of study. They wouldn't be able to

work

without their studies and even with them, sometimes is difficult to achieve a successful posture.

People

tend to believe that either going to university or working

instead

of studying can lead you to a successful position, even though sometimes

this

can be true, in my opinion, it is always better to find a balance and try to

work

at the same time you study. So that you can gain

experience

but at the same time get new knowledge that can be useful in your professional career.

Submitted by dannie.sanval on Thu Oct 12 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Expand on the advantages and disadvantages of both options.

lexical resource

Consider using more varied vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Check your grammar and sentence structure to ensure accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think universities should provide practical knowledge rather than theoretical subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

These days more father stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work . What could be reason for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?