Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #path #work #gain #school

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Attending college is crucial in order to get a degree that sometimes opens new doors in the future and leads you to a more successful path.

However

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, some

people

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decide to

work

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inmediately

Correct your spelling

immediately

after they graduate from high school. Even though both decisions can help you to construct a professional career, going to college is crucial to achieving

this

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goal. Nowadays, young

people

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say it is better to start working as soon as possible so that you can gain

experience

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and new contacts.

That is

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why they choose to get a job, and as a young

person

Add a comma

person,

show examples

you can learn easily and quite fast.

For example

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people

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who want to have a company choose to start their business as soon as possible and

work

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on it, or

work

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for a company first to gain

experience

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. For these

people

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the more

experience

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they have, the easier will be to be successful.

However

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, it is clearly impossible to apply

this

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logic to every type of job. Some jobs require previous studies and without it, they wouldn't even exist.

For example

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, any type of medical job

such

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as doctor or dentist,

also

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other professions like architectures or lawyers require prior of many years of study. They wouldn't be able to

work

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without their studies and even with them, sometimes is difficult to achieve a successful posture.

People

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tend to believe that either going to university or working

instead

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of studying can lead you to a successful position, even though sometimes

this

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can be true, in my opinion, it is always better to find a balance and try to

work

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at the same time you study. So that you can gain

experience

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but at the same time get new knowledge that can be useful in your professional career.

Submitted by dannie.sanval on Thu Oct 12 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Expand on the advantages and disadvantages of both options.

lexical resource

Consider using more varied vocabulary to improve your lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Check your grammar and sentence structure to ensure accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?