IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
Certain
people
 believe that
advertisements
 compel
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 man to buy unwanted
products
;
on the contrary
, many others debate that
advertisements
 help
people
 to choose and understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new market
products
 that simplify their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 lives. I personally agree and disagree and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will reason these facts.
People
 who believe that
advertisements
 are misleading could be partially correct. In the current age,
advertisements
 are becoming more captivating and indulging with our senses,
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 we unknowingly or subconsciously tend to heed
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the facts and opinions presented in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. For e.g.
People
 start buying a new product released in the market without doing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
personal research, and only by believing what the advertisement portrays about the nutritional facts, food safety, health benefits etc.
This
 high degree of influencing techniques incorporated in the
advertisements
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could be negatively impacting
people
's shopping habits.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
 could
also
 be very important for any person to be able to decide and choose what
products
 they can buy and invest
for
Change preposition
in for
show examples
 a better standard of living. Here we can think of examples
such
 as home improvement electronics like vacuum
mop
Fix the agreement mistake
mops
show examples
, steam
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 etc., and personal electronics like hair
styler
Fix the agreement mistake
stylers
show examples
,
dryer
Fix the agreement mistake
dryers
show examples
, epilators etc. These
products
 simplify our day-to-day activities and it is absolutely undeniable that
advertisements
 introduce these new and advanced
products
 to us.
To Conclude
 on the above, we have to agree that
advertisements
 have their own pros and cons and it is every individual's sensible responsibility to
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
research, understand and choose carefully all the
products
 that they buy.
Submitted by christabix on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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