IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#research #governments #organizations
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Scientific
research
 is the stepping stone to futuristic inventions in many areas which include medicine and engineering.
However
, the
government
 should be the one to fund the
research
instead
 of the corporate organizations. I strongly agree with the statement and explain my reasons in
this
 essay. Nowadays, life has become much easier
due to
 the advancements in technology. The transportation is very flexible when compared to previous generations.
Similarly
, many areas of life are benefited from techs
such
 as finding cures for diseases, diagnosing diseases, and pollution-free vehicles. No matter what the area, it helped to make our lives happier and easier.
Therefore
, the scientific
research
 behind these accomplishments must be encouraged more and a lot of commercial organizations started to invest in them.
However
, the financial support these exploration facilities are receiving is almost next to zero from the
government
.
This
 can severely impact the society in one or the other ways.
For instance
, in the pharmacy sector, it is not a secret that many private pharmaceutical companies conduct
research
 on diseases and find medicines and vaccines.
However
, they sell them for higher costs to profit from it. All people are not economically stable enough to buy these antidotes for
such
 high prices and give up.
Therefore
, to avoid these kind of situations, the
government
 immediately take action and start a policy that do not allow any other corporate companies to invest in these facilities.
Instead
, the ministry should be the one to fund the
research
 centres.
To conclude
, I believe, that if the
government
 exclusively starts funding
research
 centres
instead
 of private companies, it will help every common man to access new scientific advancements.
Submitted by tejanavyapc2000 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical structure of the essay flows smoothly from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph clearly relating to the central topic without digression.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but ensure they encapsulate the main argument effectively, providing a clear roadmap of the essay in the introduction and a decisive stance in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and evidence. Each key idea presented should be expanded upon with clear examples or further explanation to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Complete the response to the task with a clear position throughout the response. The essay should consistently address the question posed, with a final conclusion that reflects the arguments made.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by fully explaining and expanding upon each idea presented. Ideas should be detailed and discussed thoroughly to provide insight and depth to the argument.
task achievement
Introduce relevant and specific examples to support your argument. The examples should directly illustrate the point being made and add value to the overall argument, rather than simply stating general facts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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