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Band 2.5

The old generation often hold traditional ideas about the correct way of life, thinking and behavior. However, some people think that these ideas are not helpful for young people to prepare for modern life. To what extent do agree or disagree?

#generation #life #behavior #people
Elderly people may suggest
old fashion
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
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ideas
 regarding the right methods of life,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 include thinking and
act
Wrong verb form
acting
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. But others find these
ideas
 are outdated and not suitable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young children. In my opinion, every generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 its own
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 and solutions that only apply
in
Change preposition
at
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 a certain time.
However
, some
ideas
 can be recreated and be used in
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
sitiuations
Correct your spelling
situations
situation
.
Firstly
, traditional
ideas
 may lead the kids to success but not directly, parents can pass their own experience to their own children which
then
 can be used in a different way.
On the other hand
, the communities
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
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 different than it was,
therefore
, applying old ways of life can lead to failure in most cases. Taking technology as an example, children may ask for advice from teens about a topic related to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 rather than asking old people. In the end, young kids may
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 traditional ways of
lifing
Correct your spelling
life
 and use it in newer
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
.
However
, not all methods work in modern life.
Submitted by ibrakh80 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your ideas and provide more explanation or analysis.
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay more attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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