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Band 6

the share of income earned by the top 1 percent from 1975 to 2015.

#income #percent
The line chart provides information about how much income was earned by the Top 1 Percent in 7 different countries between 1975 and 2015. As an
overall
 trend,
it is clear that
 the United States increased its
percentage
, compared to other countries.
While
 Germany, Canada and the United Kingdom held the second position in income
percentage
. In terms of France, Italy and Japan, they fluctuated all over the period and reached nearly the same level. Now, turning to the details, in 1975 among the highest countries Germany started at 10 percent and had considerable drops and jumps between 7 and 11 till 2015. And
then
 it went up to approximately 14 in 2010. The United States, Canada and France began at the same data around 8, but
then
 the United States experienced a dramatic rocket with fluctuations, reaching 9 in 1985, 13 in 1990, accompanied by marginal drops, 16 in 2000 and the peak at 18 in 2015. Canada and the United Kingdom
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
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 their
percentage
 in 1990 at 10 and increased significantly in 2000 to around 13. After that, they reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak in 2010 and a little bit worsened
percentage
 in 2015 to 12. France held the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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same position throughout the year with negligible changes, starting from 8 in 1975 to 9 in 2015. In terms of Italy and Japan, it is
seen
Verb problem
are
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 identical trends. In the first decade they rose slightly from 8 to 8,
then
 Italy increased strikingly to 9 in 2010,
while
 Japan had a considerable fall in 1990 to 7 and
finally
 soared in the same year,
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
show examples
 Italy in 2010
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that includes the main trend.
coherence cohesion
Organize the body paragraphs more effectively by discussing each country separately and providing a summary afterwards.
lexical resource
Use more precise and varied vocabulary to describe the data.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and improve the overall sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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