Some students choose to take a gap year after graduating high school to work and/or travel. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, there has been a popular trend among
students
that they are going to temporarily postpone advancing in their learning path to work or to take a break by travelling. In my opinion, this
is not a wise decision and a major setback that they should really consider before doing it.
On the one hand, taking a gap year can be appealing to students
because it can give them a sense of freedom. For example
, most students
are constantly monitored by parents. Thus
, having a gap year can offer them a chance to not only do whatever suits them without anyone complaining but also
to prove that they are independent enough to deal with the challenges that life throws at them.
On the other hand
, despite the appealing benefits that I have mentioned above, this
trend also
has many demerits. First of all, being able to earn money early may make students
think that higher education is unnecessary without knowing that the knowledge they gained in high school is by no means enough to guarantee a stable job in the future. This
is because most companies nowadays usually require a range of certificates to make sure that the candidate is knowledgeable enough in order to perform well and benefit their company. Hence
, a person who does not meet those requirements may have to accept a low-paid job or face unemployment. As a result
, they may face financial difficulties in their lives and may become depressed that they are willing to commit fraudulent or illegal acts to survive.
To sum up
, although
having a break before entering university can bring about some benefits, they are overshadowed by the drawbacks. Thus
, students
need to consider the advantages and disadvantages of this
trend carefully before making their decisions.Submitted by weezel on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. This involves planning your paragraphs effectively and using clear topic sentences to indicate the main point of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a concise introduction and conclusion that clearly state your opinion and summarize your main points. Currently, your introduction could be more focused, and your conclusion should reiterate your view more conclusively.
Task Achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your main points. These examples are crucial in making your arguments compelling and credible.
Task Achievement
Work on expanding and exploring your main ideas comprehensively. Ensure that each paragraph expands on the central idea introduced in the topic sentence with sufficient detail and depth.
Task Achievement
Address the task directly and make sure to cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly. In this case, discuss both advantages and disadvantages equally and explain why one outweighs the other, supporting your argument with clear justifications.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.