Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is no denying that technological advances have been playing an important role in our daily lives.
This
also
leads to significant changes in the way people shop nowadays.
While
many believe that advanced technology facilitates their shopping, others think
otherwise
. Both views are justifiable but I personally lean towards the former. On the one hand, the development of e-commerce and advertisements is not necessarily beneficial to all customers, especially when they are not strictly regulated.
For example
, the fact that some e-shopping sites are rife with counterfeits and low-quality goods,
along with
ads which pop up constantly can result in an unpalatable online shopping experience for customers,
not to mention
the risk of leaking their private information online.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that technological advances have brought a wide variety of benefits to customers. Everyone is now able to purchase goods conveniently from their homes with a few simple steps,regardless of distance and weather conditions.
This
proves to be extremely useful for busy people who do not have much time to go to stores and shop in person.
Moreover
, the advent of credit cards and other forms of payment
also
enables people to shop safely and securely.
This
is because we do not have to bring a large sum of cash with us when we go shopping;
hence
,
this
may eliminate the risk of getting robbed. Even when they are careless and get their wallets with cards stolen or dropped on the street, those cards are simply of no use to thieves or anyone except the owners themselves. In conclusion, despite its negative effects, I strongly believe that technology significantly improves our shopping experiences and it will be developed even
further
in the future.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate a bit more on the points raised. This could involve providing additional examples or expanding on the implications of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by employing more linking words and phrases. This can enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and complete response to the prompt, addressing both views and providing a well-stated personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, clearly stating the topic and summarizing the main points respectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured and supported, making the essay easy to follow.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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