IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

13.The chart below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

13.The chart below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #numbers #people #household #zealand #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart below
display
Change the verb form
displays
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals per house in New Zealand in the years 1990 and 2000
Overall
, two
people
 in each household had the biggest market
share
 in 1990.
While
 the
share
 of 1 person and 3
people
 will continue to be significant, and with 4
people
 will remain relatively stable,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the others will fall to minimal levels. In 1990 houses with 2
people
 had nearly a third of the
overall
share
, and
this
 proportion
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 maintained in 2000, but it fell to be the second biggest portion. The next highest part, is the one with 3
people
, with over a fifth in 1990, and it is predicted to rise and become the largest portion with 35% of the market
share
 in 2000. Households with 4
people
 began with 17% but decreased
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 1% compared with the first chart. In 1990 families with 5 and 6
people
 had the lowest proportion with 8% and 6% respectively. In 2000,
while
 houses with 5
people
 increased to 13%, the ones with 6
people
 it is projected to almost disappear with only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
3%.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 one person
houses
Verb problem
is
show examples
 set to become the biggest loser with a loss of 15% from 17% to 2%.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, share with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!