IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that a rigorous diet and intensive workout in a short spam can help achieve fitness goals, whereas others think that healthy eating and moderate exercise can provide better long-term outcomes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #diet #workout #spam #fitness #goals #exercise #outcomes
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Many people believe that performing difficult
exercises
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 and following hard diets could help them to become fit
whereas
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 others think that using healthy foods and doing slow exercise can make them fitter and
also
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 help once to achieve their desired target. It depends on the
type
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 of
person
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's
body
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.
Firstly
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, if a
person
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 is curious about health or wants to achieve
body
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 goals on a fixed target
then
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 he can engage in hard diets and
exercises
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, but it depends on the
type
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 of
body
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 if the organs of that particular
person
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 are satisfied with heavy dietary plans and workouts
then
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 it will be easy for a
person
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 to achieve goal
otherwise
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 he can face different diseases.
Furthermore
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, those who think that having a diet full of protein and doing calm exercise can help them to achieve their target comfortably. It can be helpful because if a
person
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 thinks his immune system is addicted to slow and healthy foods, and only in
this
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 way he can reach his fixed goal on time.
On the other hand
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,
this
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type
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 of
person
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 who can only resist moderate
exercises
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 and follows dangerous
exercises
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 for a long time can
also
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 get ill for a long period. In conclusion, people should do some research on the
type
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 of their
body
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 if their
body
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 can resist difficult
exercises
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then
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 they should plan it
otherwise
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 that
person
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 should decide about taking a diet full of protein and steady
exercises
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. In my opinion, people should have healthy meals on time and slow exercise can make them fit if not
following
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this
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 plan, could lead to a dangerous disease.
Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that you present your ideas and arguments in a well-structured format. Include a clear introduction, fully developed body paragraphs, and a coherent conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main idea and be clearly separated from the others.
Task Achievement
Provide specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. Rather than making general statements, illustrate your ideas with precise information that can strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Try to develop each point fully and make your sentences flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Focus on answering all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Present a balanced discussion of both views along with your own opinion, with clear reasons supporting your stance. Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly states your view without introducing new information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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