IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

16.The pie charts show the revenue sources and expenditures of a children’s charity in the USA in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

16.The pie charts show the revenue sources and expenditures of a children’s charity in the USA in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts below display the income and waste of a charity
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want childrens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

childrens
Correct your spelling
children

It appears that the noun childrens is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

show examples
 in a year in the United States
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are more earnings than
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending

It seems that spendings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Food had the biggest profit, followed by community contributions,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 program services had the highest expenditures. About the income, donated food had 86.6% of the
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 share, the next biggest earnings comes from the community contribution with a little more than one-tenth of the portion, specifically, 10.4%. Program revenue only contributed to a small part, with 2.2%,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 investment income and government occupied only 0.2% each, and the rest 0,4% comes from other profits. There are three main spendings, where the program services occupied almost all the expenditures, with 95.8%. Fundraising had a proportion of only 2.6% of the
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 paying out,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 management and general wastes were 1% less than fundraising.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the total earning was $53,561,580
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the waste was 53,224,896, so there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject around 300 000 more revenue. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
 around
300 000
Correct your spelling
300,000

The words 300 000 seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

more revenue than expenditures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: