The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been an increasing number of obese people
as well as
the cost of medical care for related diseases. Many believe that
in school
is the best preventive measure to solve
issue. I am partially in favour of
statement as there are multiple reasons to become obese and solutions for the problems.
it is clear that
the reason why societies are suffering from putting on weight is because of lack of
. Physical
is one of the principal advantages of a decreasing proportion of overweight if pupils have a compulsory curriculum to do regular sports at school,
as ball games, marathons and gymnastics. The purpose of those exercises is fundamentally to help burn pupils’ energies, keep them fit and motivate them to do continuous physical activities outside of class work.
, the younger age is better for obtaining and learning sports and correcting their habit, it is
, the chances are that the young will be more likely to do regular exercises throughout their life eventually,
as a result
prevents putting on the extra weight and
adverse health problems, and reduce the cost of the medical care system.
, the causes of becoming obese are not only an insufficiency of
eating habits and a lack of health
. The modern young are regularly inclined to have junk food,
as fast food, fatty snacks and sugary drinks, as their parents are busy looking after their kids properly. It is obvious that those young generations need help to correct their daily diet practice and acquire basic knowledge of eating healthy food by providing a cooking class, counselling and appropriate learning opportunities in the school curriculum.
, it is obvious that the combination of physical
and having a healthy diet is considerably effective in declining the number of obese and making students aware of being healthy for their lives. In conclusion, the cause of obesity is not only one and
there are a wide range of solutions for those issues. I believe that the integration of regular
, healthy eating habits and
are the best measurements for dealing with the prevention of being overweight.
Submitted by slowloris4444 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and provide clear topic sentences.
lexical resource
Use a variety of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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