IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why is this? What is an effective way to improve people's healthy eating habits?

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It is true that junk
food
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 has negative impacts on health,
however
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, the truth does not influence its popularity
although
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 people know it. From my perspective, the phenomenon deserves an in-depth discussion in the following, and possible reasons and solutions will be drawn.
Initially
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, the front and the centre factors to cause the trend of unhealthy
food
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 is that its taste is usually better than healthy meals.These kinds of
food
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 are mostly made of oil, salt and chemicals which stimulate consumers' taste buds and result in continual consumption.
Moreover
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, its price is lower since the ingredients are cheaper.
For example
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, in Taiwan, healthy meal boxes are generally more than 150 dollars,
while
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 fried chicken bento boxes are normally around 100 dollars. Considering the expense and flavours, most individuals prefer to have junk
food
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. The problem can be improved by arousing public awareness of the harmful consequences that fattening
food
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 causes to health and encouraging individuals to change their eating habits. As an illustration,the Singapore government designed a symbol on beverages to help consumers distinguish sugar content at a glance.
In addition
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, as social media have become part of daily life, these ideas can be effectively promoted through them.
For instance
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, nowadays more and more people pay attention to body fitness.
Besides
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 exercise, the importance of a balanced diet considerably increases. There are numerous videos which teach the audience how to cook healthy
food
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 in a delicious and much-saving way.
To sum up
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, the reasons why crowds choose to eat junk
food
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 in spite of its damage to the human body are because of its flavours and expense.
Nevertheless
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, the problem can be alleviated by evoking the public consciousness of health and motivating fellows to make changes in diet.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the introduction by explicitly stating the reasons and solutions you will discuss in the essay. This will help strengthen the connection between your introduction and body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have topic sentences that clearly outline their main idea. This can improve the clarity of your arguments and help the reader follow your reasoning better.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples to include more detail or additional contexts. This can provide a more comprehensive understanding of your points and demonstrate deeper analysis.
Task Achievement
You effectively identify the reasons for the popularity of unhealthy food, showcasing your understanding of the topic and providing relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, which enhances overall readability and flow.
Task Achievement
You present an innovative solution involving social media that reflects current trends in health awareness, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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